So you’re probably wondering how it went. I mean, Odessa’s first day of school.
No? Well, I nearly died, if you’ll remember. Or at least I remembered in the process that I am going to die, which is almost the same thing.
Here’s a photo retrospective:
Step 1: Inadequately-Masked Horror
I have devised a test for determining how closely a friend or acquaintance pays attention to other people and/or how candid they are: I’ve shown this picture to a few people over the past 24 hours, and most of them have said, “Awww, so sweet!” but Eleanor and Davin we both like, “God, I hate it when you make that face. That’s your worst face.” The people who hate that face know that I’m either about to start crying or smashing somebody a new one.
P.S. I didn’t cry and nobody got a new one smashed for them, but I kind of sucked to be around all day long.
Step 2: The Rescue Squad
Attempted Reassuring Dude Breakfast. They mostly just talked about nursing shoes and looked at me like I had ringworm on my face. David diagnosed himself with diabetes, and we called it.
Step 3: Turns Out She’s Exactly The Same Possibly Happier
I don’t have pictures of the other stuff I did (moping), but then we picked her up from school. And look! She was so happy she even smiled! She’s still alive and exactly the same as before!
We’re all alive, but I’m a little different, I think.