Every year my friends Hank and Katherine send out a survey to all their friends. This is its twelfth year–and I imagine when it started people did things like email surveys. Now nobody does email surveys, but Hank’s no quitter. And because people like Hank, they do it, even if there’s always the question that’s like “So, what are YOU doin’?” I hate that question. But I’ve been taking these surveys since 2006, and as God as my witness, I will fill out these email surveys until the bitter, BITTER end.
And since you, dear raders, probably don’t know what I’ve been up to lately either….
A DOZEN YEARS OF SURVEYS! You understand what this means, right? It means that, when I answer this survey, 36% of my life will be documented in surveys. In 2024, we’ll hit 50% of my life documented by surveys. That’s CLOSER THAN THE YEAR WHEN WE STARTED THIS THING! *shudder*
For those of you who are new, this survey is a tradition begun when I was in college in which I email a survey to all of the people that I will care about for the rest of my life. Those people then receive these surveys every year until one of us dies.
If you do answer the survey, you’ll have a record in your email of the person you were in 2014 that will (barring apocalypse-induced email erasure) be available to you for the rest of your life. If you don’t, you will poop out an alien…and not a nice alien. Or a small one.
This year, to reflect the fact that we have more demands on our time now than we did in 1999, I’ve slightly decreased the number of questions on the survey.
What have you been up to? Last year seemed really long and I did a lot of things. I kept on working at Georgia River Network, for a while helped Hank write a book about how different animals have sex, one of my grandmothers died and the other one got sick, so I started taking care of her every day so she could keep living by herself. Let’s see…. I started an outdoor school with my friend Catherine called Fall Line South Field Institute, which is great because I get to talk to THAT nice lady many times every week. It’s worth every ounce of work and worry that comes with starting a business. Otherwise I’ve been taking care of my sweet angel child and Bryan, who finished his dissertation once and for all last month!
Best acquisition of the year? We got a puppy! His name’s Goose. (I think I’d give him one of my kidneys, but he’s not a smart dog.)
Favorite TV show of all time: I’m always gonna say My So-Called Life, even when I don’t believe it anymore.
Favorite TV show currently on air: Downton Abbey, bless it. Oh! But Bob’s Burgers is so funny! I can’t decide.
The book you most want to see turned into a movie: Villette by Charlotte Bronte. Nobody reads that shit and it’s impossible to put down once you pick it up. THERE’S A GHOST NUN IN IT, FOLKS. But everybody keeps turning YA dystopian teen dramas into movies instead of giving us the Victorian ghost nuns we deserve.
What’s the weirdest thing you believed as a child? That there were 3 sexes: males, females and koala bears.
Last time you screamed? I tend to scream when I see people I like. It happens all the time.
Opinion of Horror Movies? If I wanted to jack up my sleep cycle for a week, I’d get out there and get me a UTI. If I wanted to live in terror, I’d move to the inside of a volcano.
If you could give EVERYONE a super power…everyone on the whole earth, what would it be? The ability to stop thinking whenever they want. Meditation power. It’s harder than it has any right to be.
What’s your favorite meal to cook? Buttered spaghetti with parmesan cheese. I’m just a simple lady.
What’s the biggest difference between now and 12 years ago? It’s been 13 years since 9/11 instead of just 1 year. I refuse to acknowledge cell phones and the internet.
What movie have you seen the most times? Either Room With a View or the Delta Airlines safety video narrated by the hot ginger flight attendant.
In this space, write your own question and answer it:
Q: If you had a super power, what would it be?
A: I am able to forget a joke immediately after hearing it, if not while I’m hearing it.
What’s Your Favorite Joke? See previous question.
If the objects in your home had personalities…which one would be your best bud? The shower. I love taking showers. Me and my shower go way back.
Your most-played song of the last year: “Let It Go” from the Frozen movie. It’s Odessa’s jam. One day this year, I might go to bed realizing I didn’t hear “Let It Go” even one time, but I don’t think that day will be soon.
Your Favorite Place to be alone? The shower.
Your favorite place to be with friends? Camping. I’m just a camping girl.
Favorite video of the year?
Open your web browser, type an “c” into the URL bar…what does it auto-complete to? This blog. Wah-wahhhhhhhhhh.
Where would you go if time and money weren’t a factor? Maybe I’d go to the Kamchatka Peninsula. It’s a total bitch to get to.
What are you looking forward to in 2014? Bryan being out of school, Fall Line South’s first trip this June!
What’s the oldest thing you own? I would like to remind everyone that we are stardust.
What was the best moment of the year? The day Bryan got a job that allowed us to stay in Athens another couple of years was good times.